minimalyzed:

replacing my heart with another liver so i can drink more and care less

l1berum:

i basically assume that people don’t like me unless they explicitly tell me they like me and then periodically remind me

methlaboratories:

CAN I GET A HELL YEAH IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING WITH YOUR LIFE AND YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH SLEEP

Autumn in NYC

What You Crave vs What You Need

Chocolate: Raw nuts/seeds.
Oily/Fatty Snacks: Kale, leafy greens.
Soda/Carbonated Drinks: Actual, literal bubbles.
Chips/Salty Food: Topsoil.
Cookies: Freudian psychology.
Sweet Tea: A strong Southern gentleman to take care of you.
Pasta/Carbs: Pasta/Carbs.
Ice: The sweet release of death.

teacupwarrior:

Imagine that at the end of Dumbledore’s speech at the beginning of the year, he asks if there are any questions, and one first year muggleborn kid raises his hand, whips out a smart phone and asks for the wifi password.

And then Dumbledore just casually says “Sherbet lemon, with a capital S”, and commences the feast like it’s no big deal while the non-muggleborns think WIFI is some sort of secret society.

needs-more-pony:

raptorjesusbearcavalry:

blueshogun96:

getoveryourselflady:

Per the man law code and if not it should be


I applaud this.

Ok so it was nice of him to do that and all, but are we just gonna ignore how fucking INGENIOUS it was for him to put it under the toilet seat?

Like, I’m simultaneously mad at the girl for cheating, impressed with the decency of the guy letting the boyfriend know, and blown away with the creativity of the placing the note there.
Many mixed feelings.

needs-more-pony:

raptorjesusbearcavalry:

blueshogun96:

getoveryourselflady:

Per the man law code and if not it should be

I applaud this.

Ok so it was nice of him to do that and all, but are we just gonna ignore how fucking INGENIOUS it was for him to put it under the toilet seat?

Like, I’m simultaneously mad at the girl for cheating, impressed with the decency of the guy letting the boyfriend know, and blown away with the creativity of the placing the note there.

Many mixed feelings.

intoasylum:

disney | text posts